Mindful Desires: Lady Chatterley's Modern Twist
Closing a summer that's been steaming, burning, and renewing
Hello, dear Mentatrix readers! I’m happy to greet you again after the long summer break. As I write this, it’s the last day of August, and I’m looking back over the past months.
On Mentatrix, I took a step back and invited fellow Substack authors to post in this space from the most wildly different themes of their writing, connecting with you through that common element of reflection and awareness, which is the core of what I want to cultivate here.
I hope you enjoyed the range of distinct voices, and I thank the authors again for their contributions. In a chronological order:
(A Sense of Belonging) (Wildlands) (The Dropout Classicist)and
(Spirit Connections).
On a different line, I was happy and relieved to finalise my novel Lili Comes to Herself, in a fourth version, and send it for professional copy editing. It’s a coming-of-age story set in the communist Romania of the 1980s, on the central theme of finding a home in the world. The protagonist is caught in a multi-level conflict that involves a conservative society, an oppressive regime, problematic family relationships, and an anti-romance.
I’ll write more about this later this month, with more details, before moving on to the next pre-publication stage.
On a personal level, I’ve had a very intense time. One of the capital themes of my life, the relationship with the others, has emerged with unexpected force. I’ve met people, found myself again in old patterns, which I was called to break, and this way renew who I thought I was. It was constant inner work, rewarding and exhausting at once.
Emerging from these experiences there are one or two writing projects. No, I’ll call them more tentatively, writing ideas.
One of them I started sketching just today, and you can read below.
I never thought I’d be tempted to write romance, but here it is. Me being Zoe, however, it won’t be all romantic; as I’m thinking of it now, it should be in the end about transformation. In mindfulness terms, get present and embody yourself.
I’m sure you all know the famous Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Well, my working title for this experiment is Lady Chatterley’s Novice. I want the female protagonist to switch roles with her famous counterpart, and be the one teaching her partner what it’s like to give yourself up, instead of practising the erotic game mechanically. There will be resistance, break-up points, tipping points, points of no return… but also humour, thoughtfulness, naked interactions of modern-day casual daters, maybe even steamy scenes. Most of all, a modern woman who perplexes and unsettles her male counterparts by an uninhibited, daring candour.
Intrigued? Shocked? Have a go, and read a first excerpt. At the end, answer my poll and let me know what you think 😊.
Who knows, you might actually like it!
She logs on.
God, this hopeless landscape of emotionally challenged people. Seeking a counterpart only to feed their own story: a cool playboy, or at least a decent hunter now and then hitting some game. Freedom, ease, no-strings-just-play.
Lightness, they say. By which they mean, no substance. Nothing rounding up the act itself.
Just cumming. A glass of wine, maybe, afterwards, or a hurried shower before saying thanks and dashing off, each going back to their lives. Their real ones.
And what’s she doing here, then?
She’s searching for some lightness, too. Only she defines it otherwise: abandoning herself without thoughts of the future.
Her abandonment is her power. The man may think he gets her: but she gets him (too). Her apparent passivity, allowing herself to surrender, is her choice, her pleasure. The man delivers it to her.
Serving is mutual, never one-way: whether enjoying, or merely using each other.
So here’s another one asking her to unblur her pictures. Just like that. No hi, no flirting, not even something funny. (She loves it when she spots humour.) Give me a bloody reason to care, stupid, she mutters and clicks Not interested.
Is she in the right place, she wonders a hundredth time. Is she really asking for so much?
Sex that is a lust for life. Sex that brings joy. Not some manufactured orgasm.
To get this, you can’t really bet on one-night stands, on sex as you go. The act itself needs some cushioning: some common interests, some mutual acknowledgement, a bit of nice conversation – and most of all, a horizon beyond the first date. A second, a third is getting better and better, setting up that safety net where she can let herself surrender to her desires and her sensuality.
And here’s another one three hundred kilometres away, allegedly searching for something stable. Why is he approaching her? Other than a one-timer, what can be had?
But if she mentions the distance, he’ll hurry to say no problem, he’s happy to drive all the way. They all say that.
They all go the same way: me, me, me. But what she means is that it’s a problem to her, not to them.
That lightness? To her, it’s availability, too. The freedom to be spontaneous, the ease getting together.
And she won’t be a hostess. She would visit the man, too, at his place. Actually, she’d prefer to do that at the beginning, instead of running all the first-date experiments at her place, neighbours counting the faces over the time.
So, better not to mention the distance, just say No thanks. The moment you are open about what you really think, they use it and jump in with their simple-minded bids, thinking that’s the only problem. Once she was persuaded, the deal would be done. When in fact, she knows too well, distance or even an unclear relationship status would mean nothing if the guy stood out and had something enticing to offer.
So, keep the communication at its minimum, as long as you’re not attracted, girl!
“Cool hairstyle!🤩 Can I tousle it a bit more?😇”
Her profile picture is a selfie in Lisbon, right in the central square facing the river, her short, shaggy haircut made even shaggier by the wind.
She smiles. Some personal observation. Playful, too. Rare bird.
Okay, he’s ten years younger. But that’s the least important after all.
His profile?
Too bad. “In a relationship”, it says. And in the industry city two hundred kilometres away.
But these are two reasons to reassure her that it’s okay to reply, even to chat; given the limitations, there are few chances of any development that might need sorting out. Just play along a bit.
“It might be a bit cheeky, but it depends... you are in a relationship, though, and far away, so don’t you dare!😄”
“Sorry, just thinking aloud😇. You look so cuddly and tousled😍. My girlfriend would surely be fine with it.😇”
Okay, so he’s not married. “Girlfriend” is not even a partner. Why do people have just “girlfriends”, and still look for others? Nobody’s keeping you if you want to go, and if you want to go, why do you stay?
The endless store of human curiosities.
“... so innocent.😊”
“...for now.🙂 You’re such a sweetie, just had to get it off my chest.😘“
“Thanks. Now you’re delivered from the burden.”
“No. Now the ordeal starts… I know of your existence and I’m not tousling you up.😔”
She laughs, already a third time since this chat has started. He’s good, she thinks, smiling to the screen.
Okay, are you ready to give a first pronouncement?
I’m not sure at this point how far I’ll be going with this story; your feedback will tip the scales considerably. Thank you!
Until next week! 🙋🏽♀️
You've got me curious and there were many lines in what I read that I would have highlighted. I look forward to reading more. Welcome back!
I like your style, choice of words and ideas! :) Look forward to reading more!!