Looking back, it seems to me that I’ve walked – or lived – a coherent path.
Isn't that what we all want to say? When we find it, we can't believe how hard it was to find..ellusive for no real reason other than we were somehow blocked.
Is it such a terrible thing being a country of one? I wouldn’t call it a country, but rather being just with yourself. I’ve never felt that urge to belong. I mean, not really. It was rather a fashion or a whim. The moment I reconciled with myself, sometime after adolescence, it was OK for me to be like that. For others, I could very well pretend to be somebody else. And it was OK. It left me untouched.
I’ve always been just me with myself, regardless of the people around me. Even if at one point I wanted to be different, it wasn't a real, deep-down desire, as long as I felt fine with my inner SELF. I was, at a certain moment in time, while a student at the university, part of some groups or “cliques” because the moment demanded it or seemed appropriate then. But I didn't belong to any of them. And I wasn't unhappy. Perhaps, just a little sad from time to time. The moment I reconciled with myself, sometime after adolescence, it was OK for me to be like that. And now, when age imposes some physical limits on me that I hate, I still find myself in my inner SELF and I feel good about it. I cannot pretend that”all is well in the best of all possible worlds”, but I feel at peace with myself. Especially when I wake up and say to myself "good morning", and it is OK.
Of course it’s no terrible thing, Mioara. But it was for me. Well, not terrible, but it shaped a constant quest. And what I mean here is not so much loneliness, or solitude, but the ability (or inability) to express myself, to get out of that tree trunk. And so, I crossed the spectrum, from ine extreme to the other, until I finally found my healthy balance. Thanks for responding, Mioara, as always, an interesting fresh perspective! You chose very wisely to own your self.
Love this line:
Looking back, it seems to me that I’ve walked – or lived – a coherent path.
Isn't that what we all want to say? When we find it, we can't believe how hard it was to find..ellusive for no real reason other than we were somehow blocked.
I wonder if that pathway might apply to societies or mankind in general, right now the signs showing we might be in an age of oversharing...
Wow, yes, I was to "shy" to suggest this idea in the post, but it did cross my mind. Thanks for responding, Monika!
Is it such a terrible thing being a country of one? I wouldn’t call it a country, but rather being just with yourself. I’ve never felt that urge to belong. I mean, not really. It was rather a fashion or a whim. The moment I reconciled with myself, sometime after adolescence, it was OK for me to be like that. For others, I could very well pretend to be somebody else. And it was OK. It left me untouched.
I’ve always been just me with myself, regardless of the people around me. Even if at one point I wanted to be different, it wasn't a real, deep-down desire, as long as I felt fine with my inner SELF. I was, at a certain moment in time, while a student at the university, part of some groups or “cliques” because the moment demanded it or seemed appropriate then. But I didn't belong to any of them. And I wasn't unhappy. Perhaps, just a little sad from time to time. The moment I reconciled with myself, sometime after adolescence, it was OK for me to be like that. And now, when age imposes some physical limits on me that I hate, I still find myself in my inner SELF and I feel good about it. I cannot pretend that”all is well in the best of all possible worlds”, but I feel at peace with myself. Especially when I wake up and say to myself "good morning", and it is OK.
Of course it’s no terrible thing, Mioara. But it was for me. Well, not terrible, but it shaped a constant quest. And what I mean here is not so much loneliness, or solitude, but the ability (or inability) to express myself, to get out of that tree trunk. And so, I crossed the spectrum, from ine extreme to the other, until I finally found my healthy balance. Thanks for responding, Mioara, as always, an interesting fresh perspective! You chose very wisely to own your self.
Thank you so much, Jill! Yes, blocked, or guided out.
❤️