The Promise of a Wrong Love (2)

An anti-romance and a social game

Hello, Mentatrix readers! It’s been another week, and here we are again, enjoying (hopefully) some nice reading on a quiet Sunday. Whatever we read, let us take a brief dive and feel ourselves IN the text, IN the emotion it conveys. And then, step back and reflect on what it does to us, and what we can take away as we go on with our lives.

That’s what Mentatrix is here for.

To me, these are exciting weeks. Ahead of the publication date of my novel, Lili Comes to Herself, on Amazon, I have a checklist to go through, but luckily, it feels less heavy and burdening than I anticipated. Very recently, my front cover got an amazing upgrade, which not only made me immensely happy, but also boosted my confidence going forward. (Partial disclosure: check out the blurb…)

Two weeks ago, you read a short extract where Lili is wondering about the feelings she has for Vlad and the future of their relationship, which he is so keen to materialise. I’m calling this part of Lili’s story an “anti-romance”, because although there are two people apparently playing the romantic game, it’s not exactly driven by romantic feelings.

Typical surrogates might be fears of loneliness, desire for validation, emotional neediness, pressure of societal expectations, and many others.

What drives Lili into this anti-romance, and keeps her locked in? Read Lili Comes to Herself :).

Just a reminder of who Lili is, and what this coming-of-age novel is all about:

Read part 1 of The Promise of a Wrong Love here to refresh your memory.

The Promise of a Wrong Love

In today’s excerpt, Lili watches Vlad interacting with his pals. The promise of the New Year’s in Geneva turns out to have been Vlad’s fantasy, which is replaced, more prosaically, by a party with his buddies on the outskirts of the city.

It’s a piece dominated by dialogue — and a humorous one, too, as the pals tease Vlad, while Vlad reacts with his unsuspecting candour. And what is Lili feeling?

Hope you enjoy reading this!

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So, no Geneva. Just an improvised get-together with Vlad’s medicine mates, in a shabby flat on the ninth floor of a working-class apartment building, at the other end of the city. Well. It could be worse: staying home, for example. There would be some music, and something going on.

Vlad took care of the logistics, carrying the music equipment and the colour TV in his parents’ white Lada the day before New Year’s Eve, as the Bacis would be driving to Busteni the next morning and depriving Vlad of the car. If he couldn’t get Geneva, he would get at least this party right, and would sweat hard at it, so everyone could see he was the heart and soul of it.

She’s helping to unload and carry paraphernalia from the car into the flat.

“Did you pack the whole living room, Vladyboy?” one of the guys asks, picking up a box overflowing with cables. “Is this Mr Doctor’s toolkit?” He winks at Lili.

“Of course not!” Vlad replies, slightly flattered. “Just wasn’t sure what you have, easier to pack all the stuff in one go. New Year’s only once a year, they say, so we don’t want to miss anything, do we?”

“And what’s in here?” another guy asks.

“There? Oh, erm—” Vlad is trying to rummage inside with one hand, while holding a large carton on his chest.

“Oh, come on, stop it, just asked, no need to bother,” the guy turns away. “We’ll see upstairs when we unpack.”

“Santa Claus is coming to town,” one of them chants.

“Vlad Baci is coming to the neighbourhood! Let’s give him a warm welcome, people!”

“Shhh – you nuts, man? They’ll take us for dangerous elements, shouting things in the street – but hey, no worries, Vlad here – and Lili, of course, his one and only! – will be testifying for us when we’re in custody.”

“What you don’t say, actually it’ll be the honourable Dr Baci himself, you’re kidding me!”

“Sure, but that’s because it’ll be Vlad here that will call up his mom and dad, won’t he? Won’t you, Vlad? What else did you pack in here, man, why’s it so heavy?”

“I told you I grabbed everything just in case. Oh, it must be a pot of my mom’s winter salad, she made plenty of it and put some aside for us, it’s her fav—”

“The winter salad! Yayyy, Mom’s supercalifragilistic salad – what’s in it, other than potatoes and pickles? Truffles?”

“Truffles? What’s that?”

“Shut up, stupid! Erm, imported olives?”

“Olives are imported by definition, guys!”

“Hey, don’t digress, please, I want to know what could be in this precious winter salad that Mrs Doctor Baci took the trouble to make with her very own hands, for our delight on New Year’s Eve!”

“There’s vegetable stuff,” Vlad provides clarification, “and veal, of course.”

“Veal, of course!”

“Of course!”

“The winter salad always has veal, didn’t you know, sucker?”

“No, actually, it doesn’t,” Vlad corrects, “but we do have tons of veal in the freezer, so—”

“Tons of veal, man, tons of veal! Vladyboy, did you lock the door when you left, so no one breaks in for the treasure? Lili, did you watch him do it? I know he’s walking on clouds, in love as he is, and thank goodness he’s got you—”

“Of course he’s got her, it’s her he’s in love with, man, gosh—”

“Yep, I know that, but what I meant is thank goodness they’re together, and taking good care of each other, right, Lili? You take good care of Vladyboy, don’t you?”

“Of course we take good care of each other, that’s what love is all about, you know that?” Vlad cuts in.

“Oh, that’s what love is all about, Vlad knows, guys. Sit down and take notes, y’all, will you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you carry on with your teasing, but he who laughs at the end laughs better, hey guys?”

“And you laugh at the end, Vlad, is that what you’re saying?”

“Of course!”

Vlad is busy untangling the cables. They all wait for him to go on and explain.

“OK, so Vlad laughs last, who laughs first here? Anyone?”

“Me!”

“No, you sit down and keep taking notes, as I said, cos what Vlad has to share with us today is precious wisdom. But why do you laugh last, Vladydaddy, you’re not going to heaven I hope?”

“He is in heaven already, in the seventh, remember? Walking on clouds, holding hands with Lili here? Ring any bells, hello?”

“Sure, sure, though Lili here seems quite deft at walking on earth, doesn’t she, and she’s not laughing at all, neither first nor last. Lili, do you laugh with Vlad?”

“At, about, for, despite—”

“Oh, come on, guys, cut the nonsense and give me a hand here,” Vlad says. “We laugh last because we do have love after all, not like you. Paul Stănescu – you know, the Public Prosecutor’s son, my neighbour—” Vlad prompts the guys’ memory.

“Yes, we know who Paul Stănescu is, Vlad.”

“Your neighbour.”

“The Public Prosecutor’s son, of course!”

“Yes, sure, great, so he’s with Maya Stefan – you know, the film star?”

“We know Maya, too, Vlad!”

“Is she also your neighbour?”

“No, stupid, but she may well become, if she moves in with Paul, right Vlad?”

“I doubt that, actually,” Vlad points out knowingly. “They’re moving in together, but not with Paul’s mom and dad—”

“Oh, what a shame, so then Paul will no longer be your neighbour, Vlad, will he?”

“Shut up, man, just let Vlad enlighten us what’s going on with Paul and what love did to him, and why Paul and Vlad – and Lili, of course – and Maya! – why they all laugh last!”

“We all laugh last because we know something you don’t, guys, no offence. It’s that when you truly love someone, you take good care of them. Lili knows,” Vlad adds with a tender smile to her. “And Paul, too – you know he threw a party just to celebrate Maya’s new single?”

“No, you didn’t tell us, Vlad, something wrong with you?”

“He’s in love. That’s one other thing that love does to people, they get out of the habit of updating their mates.”

Lili felt uneasy when they met Vlad’s pals. She saw that he was constantly being made fun of, or that he was being funny himself, either way without him realising.

His gregarious cheerfulness was nice, and put him in the spotlight. But he seemed almost too keen on the spotlight, almost unable to stop begging for pats on the shoulder. Vlad was the one blindfolded in the hide and seek, running in all directions with arms stretched out, giggling and squealing with the excitement of the game, while Lili and the others were standing on the side, exchanging knowing looks.

Lili would have been capable of handling this insight on her own, telling herself she was just being a tad mean, and that Vlad was such a sweet guy. That the others were noticing, though, was harder to ignore. It meant that she was not being mean. That was the real Vlad.

Even worse, the mates’ jokes seemed to be a long shot at herself, daring her to lay her cards on the table, as in: Who are you really, going out with Vlad, although you’re not like him? Being the one who was looking on, seeing the comic in his behaviour, strangely reinforced the wise mama role Vlad often cast her in. The others, inevitably, also saw the no-nonsense woman in her.

Was she becoming one? The lily in her – was it turning into a sturdy sunflower?

There were few motives to account for her duplicity, but that was a path she wouldn’t explore in her thoughts for now. It led to another version of Lili that she would vehemently deny.

She felt that the teasing pressed her to take a stand. Should she step in and defend him? This would mean acknowledging that she saw their game, and ultimately, Vlad’s comical figure. She would persist in complicity with his chums. She was fond of Vlad and treasured his candour, but if that meant stepping in for him against his buddies, it was obviously the wrong love.

Alternatively, if she kept quiet, wouldn’t she be letting him down? It was only right to stand by him, unconditionally, as he stood by her. True: she would have been happy to stand by her man. But a little boy?

Until answers were available, the interim solution was to dismiss the complicity of the jokes, and stay away from the guys altogether.