Light Is the New Happy

A New Year's prompt for less baggage and more bliss

Hello, Mentatrix readers! In German we wish each other a good slip into the New Year (einen guten Rutsch). I hope your slip was smooth and fun, a bit like skating, or graciously skiing down a gentle slope.

Thank you for being here.

If you’re new, or a chance reader, Mentatrix is a place for self-reflection, whether it’s through personal stories, recent happenings, a fictional character, or an aspect of nature and life in Germany, where I live.

Today I’m asking you to reflect on a different way of starting a new year.

They harp on about New Year resolutions: how you could start a new diet, take up a new sport, get a new look, introduce a change.

Instead of getting ourselves something new, how about leaving something behind?

I sat down on my meditation cushion on the 1st of January and the thought came to me out of nowhere:

What do I want to leave behind, in the old year?

I want to leave behind the false belief I’ve carried with me since I know not when that my words can bring about the change I want. If said pointedly, meaningfully, concisely. Like a magic Expecto Patronum!, or a Wake up for hell’s sake, what do you think you’re doing?

I know my strongest cognitive skill is seeing through the appearances, the packaging, deep underneath the fluffy filling, right to the heart of a matter. Spot bullshit and red herrings from miles away.

And the hidden, implicit belief I’ve carried around was that if I should say it, just as I see it, no waffle, just the few words, edgy and clear cut like a ruthless diamond, they will make the whole difference. The bullshit will be cut, the sleeping beauty will be awakened, the demons will be fanned off, and a Eureka flash will come on.

Wrong.

It’s not up to me to work these wonders. They come about — or not — by themselves most of the time. What I do get with my edgy diamond words is ruthlessness.

In time, it’s not just the words that will sound ruthless. I become that ruthless seer and cutter of bullshit, playing the valiant warrior in the service of enlightening people.

I don’t want that role. Not anymore. I decided on the first of January that I’m going to work on leaving it behind.

My gift of seeing the bullshit may stay; it always comes in handy.

But I’ll need a conscious effort to take that edge off my words and leave the diamonds in a past before 2025. Instead of the valiant warrior, I’ll make a point of being the serene observer. No need to jump in and brandish any swords. I’m okay where I am, and people are okay finding out their own failures.

Or not; it’s up to them.

What would you choose to leave behind, and make your 2025 that bit lighter?

On a different note, my coming-of-age novel Lili Comes to Herself is now out both as paperback and Kindle e-book on Amazon (the latter is 0.99 USD, or free within the Kindle Unlimited program). It’s got amazing reviews so far on Amazon and Goodreads, and a few more are under way.

If you’re still looking for an engaging read on a quiet Sunday, pick it up here and enjoy!